halloween with the bird from hell...

the festival of the devils work is nothing BUT fun-ness. in fact this lil diva believe halloween is the best party of all (besides xmas of course)!
however for one to truly enjoy the festivities of this festival there are certain rules to abide by if you wanna be as divalicious as half our kissable bootylicious butt cheeks.
1. if u wanna wear something revealing, fine but make sure u have the body for it. aint nothing appealing about muffin tops hannging over ur "sexy" nurse outfit.
2. fake blood is ok as long as u dont get any on every one elses costume! some people are hiring theirs and gotta return it in mint condition!
3. only ONE harry potter allowed at each party. its ok if there are generic vampires, devils etc.. but 2 harry potters? NO GO ZONE!
4. goin as Michael Jackson is NOT cool this year, maybe next...?
5. there is something truly disturbing when one is going trick or treating ... without little kids around. what are you, 30???
6. only wear outfits with a certain halloween theme, dressing up as a SLUT only means one thing - that you ARE indeed a slut.
these are just a few things that this diva discovered at this years rooftop halloween party.
meanwhile. something truly disturbing happened to this lil diva recently. i believe it was preparing me for halloween.
ok so there i was, driving along the highway (freeway) at about 100km an hour (60 miles) when i saw a bird on the road eating something, i honked my car and the bird mustve not heard me.
next thing i know i hear this BUMP and that was that. i looked in the rear view mirror and couldnt see any dead bodies laying around so i thought hmm...
perhaps i hit rock or something else???
so there i was, driving for a further 30min and all these cars and people were staring at me! i was thinking, daaaayum.. i must be looking sizzling hot. they must be jealous of my
TOYOTA YARIS!!! lol
then i drove past a few schools and some kids were crying when they saw me drive by... i was like wtf is goin on? cant they handle this divalicious goodness???
THEN I GET OUT MY CAR AND FIND THIS :


OMG.... wtf?!?!?!? its head got stuck ! and notice how the carplate says "the place to be" lol indeed!
so there goes my halloween story. my very first roadkill and it decided to hang around with me!
being the diva i am, i took it to the carwash to have it removed only to be greeted with a "im sorry, we clean cars not birds"

anyway, this diva has to be bounce... to brooklyn and keep on shakin my cellulite free ridden bumpity bump ass :P
hope ya'll have a happy halloween and if u dont abide those rules, ima personally fly over to which ever country you are and bitch slap you back to yo mama's vajayjay!
*smooches*
christian

Let's Get Lippy *Pout Pout*

Posing for pictures we all tend to have hand gestures*Old fashioned Deuce/Peace signs,The Pinky et all! All those are a thing of the Past! The whole world is Pouting!even the Lip*less ones struggle to make out a Pout!Am a Pout Princess myself!

I Pout not only in pics but Every Second(Pathetic u might say) I say its just a part of me *Wink* ok so yes Am pouting as I am Writing this Blog Hahaha*****Swish***** I just Dodged a readers Arrow!(Phew) lol yea so back to the main issue!If thou must Pout please I plead with you,Make sure your lips are Healthy Looking and Glossed,Don't you just hate the sight of Dry,Chapped,Crunchy looking Pouts!Dolls and Guys this is Soooo Un sexy. I just had to Blog about this cause a while back I met this Bloke he is a FITTIE, I mean he was Hot *Smoking*but he had dry Crunchy Scaly Lips*Eeeewwww* we hung out n stuff which was pretty cool! We had like 2 Hot #Kissable moments but I just never made it Happen*he was puzzled*lol I knew he would be,as he had the Mintiest Freshest Breath but he just dint know what my Problem was!*sigh* I just couldn't do that to myself!kiss some crunchy,peely,scary looking Pout!

I made up my mind I was going to have to tell him cuz we were growing on each other! Been seeing for Months and not even a Kiss! So he comes over and disastrously his lips were soo chapped,I couldn't resist trying to peel off the dry Skin!Trust me I told him Dudeeee your lips are dry*Dead dry skinned*you need some moisture up there!Guess what he said((( Yup u guessed right))) the cheeky bugger said yea I do need some moisture up there,why don't u Kiss Me! I wasn't laughing when I told him you 'd have to get u some lip Balm then we can talk about that kiss*The Cheek of him*! Ok so yea Dolls,Princesses,Machos,Blokes! Its that time of the year(Winter) to take care of your Pouts!keep them oiled and Glossed and let's all get Lippy!Coco has tried thousands of lip balms but my Favourites remain!Saver/Best Buy

*Elemis lip Revive* £18



Splurge *Creme de la mer Lip Balm*£35 With any of these Handy Lip Balm,its Sex for your lips *Pouty Pouty*

XXX
Coco

valley of the fake handbags

last nite i went to an "exclusive VIP" event hosted for mthe thinner i get. so heres my first advice to all you jaggle jangle jiggly girls out there, if you wanna lose y cousins bday, the young brat turned 20 and i had never felt so old b4. the entire place was filled with teens or just turned 20s...

so there i was . a 24yr old fashionista in the midst of an jungle full of "made in China" designer wear. now dont get me wrong. im asian myself but i just couldnt stand to look at another "ecci" or "louie vuiddon" ... i mean seriously ppl. r u for real mr. playa? if you cant afford a real designer bag then just get a simple basic bag. theres nothing wrong with that. i for one love opshops and going through bargain bins or garage sales. you never know what kinda treasure u may find. dont get me wrong, i do love my designer stuff, but the way to true style is to know how to mix and match, i cannot for the life of me, stand those old ladies that wear nothing BUT chanel from head to toe. a topshop dress, nice pumps and a designer bag = stylista fo shizzle !

moving along, it seems like the more i eat and the longer i stay out, the more weight i lose and stay in better shape : so why not do what i do. stay out late (till at least 6am) eat nothing but burger king or kfc for dinner and post vommit breakfast food should always consist of a good source of strawberry shakes or french fries. dont u know the key to detoxing is purgeing oneself? one would pay $oooo of dollars at a plastic surgeon to get the same result i get without the painful needles and lipo scars :)

so start buying a dress 2 sizes too small, use that as motivation for your new thinspirational self and let the purgeing begin...

much love.

Christian <3

Blackberry Madness............

The most Fabulous Accessory of the year is the Blackberry*sigh* its now a must have Fashion Accessory! Everyone wants one by all means and guess what the only application they make use of is the BBMessenger*FTL*(****Their Life).
As a Cooperate Chic I must confess these losers piss me the*Jordan Off!Gone are the days only Corporate Executives made use of this UberCool Tele-Cesory!we need the BB to be on the Go and work,To receive evil*get this done*last minute Emails from The Boss Amongst other Important work stuff, My point being these Jordan,Jodie and Jamie's(Replacement for Tom,Dick n Harry)lol,just want a BB,they don't even use all the functions BBM is their Ultimate Fashion Back-up Accessory,All they want is your pin so they can BB rape u,Flirt with you and Ping ur life till you Bleed and gosh the pathetic guys that want to BB Messenger date you!
helloOooo!Am I the only one sick and tired of getting asked for my BB pin by just about everyone!Don't Get me wrong!am not saying its not Fab for everyone to have a BB,I mean am Just saying its not only for BBM plus am sick and tired of guys using it as a new weapon to get laid!
So I was out the other day with my mates and my mate's friend was trying it! I had the*Ermm u are not my type*LOOk but the geezer was blind to it,at the end of the night he tried it!What's ur BBMPin? Did I mention am *Blunt* quickly I said NO u can't,Why not he asked*the cheek of him* I said because I just don't share my pin with strangers!END OFF.......was he offended(Yes),Was I bothered (NOT).Found out later he was Unemployed and Living on Bank of Mum and Dad! Hahaha!Asking for my BB pin with his Burnt out Chinos Pant and Old Seasons Louis Vuitton Belt *Rolls Yeux*Scrub Alertttt!
So after all said and done I must say BB is undeniable on the top list of the Coolest Must Have Gadgets! But pleaseeee Read ur Manuals it doesn't start and End with BB Messenger!:) Fashion bible says if you don't get one before 2010 you should be Hit with 2007 season pile of shoes!x
Lol Christian is going to Bitch Slap me with his Gucci Satchel like he always does lol* cuz he's an i-phone Bitch,Christian Darling my loyalty to Apple remains but I mean............Ok ill Zip it lol.

XxxCoco

Coco and Christian Intro x

we are 2 divas from Posh Ville but we can bend it like Beckham ! yes we are ghetto glam chanel and Polo Ralph wearing Duo ! and dont yall 4ge it... this blog is dedicated to no one else but us and ONLY us lol But we have you Reader's interest at Heart *Wink*......Everybody knows who We ARE ! we give out advice on anything in life and u better bet ur ass it works! yes all our advice has been tried and tested on OURSELVES! aint nothin but the best for our readers and subscribers. so go ahead, bookmark us-favourite us-vote for us-subscribe to us- do what u gotta do 2 make sure u get ur daily divalicious dish from the diary of deux divas .
much love,
coco & christian

Viva La Glam
Xoxoxo Fabulous